Almost a year

I had a wonderful, amazing trip to Missouri to visit my sister an my niece Kimberly (her daughter) was there as well. I had no idea how much I needed a little R & R after the month I had. My sister pampered me soooo much. Massages, pedicures,(mine are the green sparkly toes!) dinners out (what great food they have there!) Kimberly and I shared a room and we giggled like 13 year olds into the night making up songs and plotting to decorate my sisters dogs while she was at work. We made a "Sheltie Spa" and made signs that said "We put the Wow in Bow Wow" etc and made my sister giggle big time when she came home from work seeing her doggies new "do's". I got home and started back on the new "normal" routine and realized it has been almost a year since my husband passed away. I can hardly believe it. How have I lived nearly a year without this man? It seems impossible to believe. I still miss him. Always will. I still wear his wedding rings around my neck and still wear my wedding ring. I can't seem to take it off. But yet, I don't cry every single day anymore. I'm starting to feel more like myself. I'm seeing a grief counselor to help me get thru the really rough times and it is helping. It seems impossible for me to giggle myself into a stomach ache but thats exactly what I did in Missouri. And I won't lie....it felt good to laugh like that. There is still joy to be had and yes I've found some here and there, thanks to my friends and my amazing sister and wonderful niece. I read a book when I was in Missouri called "Heaven is for Real"....and wow, was that ever an amazing book. Gave me a lot of joy because it put an exclamation point on what I have always believed. Made Jesus even more real to me, if thats possible. I WILL see Barry again and that alone gives me joy and hope. Almost a year without my precious Barry. God is taking good care of him in heaven, though and I hope he and I have our mansions together. He just better not be decorating the place with only Jeff Gordon stuff. : - )