Settling in

I'm settling in to my new home gradually. This is the first place I've ever had all by myself, and I have to say.....its weird. Amy and Amiah have been staying with me. Amy should be moving out next month and then I will REALLY have it all to myself. Me, myself and I have to deal with getting the dishwasher fixed and hanging the pictures and unpacking the boxes etc. I have to go to the breaker box and flip the switch when we blow a fuse. I have to take the dog out, pay the bills, keep track of the money, take the trash to the curb.....not that I can't do it. I can and I am. But when you've never had to worry about stuff like that and now you do....its weird. I have the pictures of Barry and I in a collage that my niece made for the memorial service hanging in my bedroom and I look at it every day. It seems like a million years ago....and it seems like yesterday. I wear his wedding ring on a chain around my neck and I must touch it 50 times a day, just to keep a connection with him. This whole thing feels strange. But this morning I woke up and actually thought that I would love to be able to stay "home" today and work on organzing my closet. This is the first time I thought of it as home. Its always been "the new place". So I guess thats a good sign, right?
I'm going to see my sister next week for a 5 day visit and my niece is coming too. It will be good to make some new memories and "play" for a few days. I can use a few more fun days in my life. Until then, I'm gonna work on "weird" changing into "normal". It make take some time, but I'm gonna do it. Weird, huh?

Friend Therapy

So as you can see by my pictures,(see below as well) I had a lot of friend therapy. All these wonderful women came and helped me get through a very difficult weekend. There were many tears as I walked along the beach, and my friends all came over and hugged me. We had a devotion on the beach as well Sunday morning that invoked tears as well. But we also had many many laughs. We played a game called "Apples to Apples" and the later it got, the sillier it got and we all laughed so hard I thought I was going to fall off my chair. Do you know how long it has been since I've laughed that hard? Ages and ages and ages. And these dear women helped me. What would have been a heartbreaking weekend, turned out to be one of the most wonderful weekends ever. I do not know how anyone gets through troubling times like this without friends. It was the best therapy ever. And now I'm planning a trip to go see my beloved sister the end of this month. That will be more therapy. We "talk" every day through e-mail, but its just not the same. And my precious niece will be joining us as well and that will make things even more wonderful. I have something to look forward to. I'm anticipating buying some great books to read during the flight as well as fun times with my sis and niece. The last time we were all together was one of the saddest times ever and its time to make new memories that have fun and laughter in them. Precious family and friends......God has certainly blessed me with them, and for this I will be forever grateful.

Too many Good-byes

Well, I did it. Its been a very long time since I've written in my blog, so I figured I should bring you all up to date. I moved, we completely closed the Car Doctor (as in everything had to be out of the shop) and I had to put my sweet little corgi A.J to sleep. Three very difficult good-byes all by themselves and I had them in within a few weeks. But .....its done. I had a lot of help. Barbara, the gal who ran Car Doctor is nothing short of amazing and did everything, and I mean everything so I didn't have to lift a finger. My youngest daughter Laura was a marvelous help as well. But it was soooo hard to say good bye to that business. I can still see my husband bounding out of the front door to say hello to me....smell the grease and hear the air compressor going. It was so much a part of Barry. But it will make my life simpler to not have to run a shop with all the things I have going on in my life. I had to put my sweet little Corgi, A.J. to sleep as his back legs were not working and he started to lose bowel control. Now that was a hard call. If I had not been moving, I may have had him for a bit longer. But the vet said that with the move and the loss of bowel control it was only going to get worse, not better. SO hard to put that sweet boy down. I even had to have my mother come and get me at the vet because I was crying so hard I couldn't drive. And of course, I moved. I had so many people helping me with the move....I have a lot of angels around me. I hired a moving company and they were great. Came at 7:30 and had me moved into my new place by 3:30. Nice. But turning over the keys to my old house was another heart breaker. My house foreclosed and was sold at auction and I had to give the keys to the real estate agent. Left the house in tears again. And now, this weekend would have been my 34th wedding anniversary and I did not want to spend it alone. So I gathered some friends together and we are all going to caravan down to Pismo Beach and going to hang out and go to Solvang. Hopefully that will divert me a bit. Amy has been staying with me for a bit to help me and get me used to the house. Its very strange to know that this place is MINE and mine alone. I'm learning to use a screwdriver. I also know how to call people and ask them to help me. So many good-byes. And so many blessings as well. I have friends. I have help. I am not alone, really. Besides good ol' God who just keeps hanging on to me and holding me up ,I have family and friends and my health. And that truly is the greatest blessing of all. And so.....to quote Celine Dion, "my heart will go on".....as will my life, albeit without the love of my life. So endeth another chapter in my life, and I'm glad you are all with me as I start a new chapter. Blessings to you all.