I did it

I did it. Didn't think I could, but I did it. I donated Barry's clothes to our local Gospel Mission. It wasn't easy, but I reasoned with myself that they are no longer doing me any good just hanging there in the closet. They DID do me good for awhile. I slept with his shirt buttoned around my pillow for awhile. When they still smelled like him, they did me good. With each shirt and pair of pants I put in the box, there was a memory attached to it. This was the shirt I bought for him at Cabela's when I was visiting my sister....this was the shirt he bought on the cruise....these are the nice warm pants his parents got for him from Lands End that he loved...each one was like a trip down memory lane. There were a few things I could not bear to part with. Like his Jeff Gordon socks... a few hats of his etc. His one beloved hat that he always wore, his black hat that you see in so many pictures,was given to his "son", Ryan, who I knew would revere it and make sure nothing happened to it. He cried when I gave it to him. This was hard....very hard. But someone else can put his clothes to good use . I just hope I don't see someone walking down the street in one of his shirts. I might have to go hug the poor unsuspecting person who would not know what to do with me. This is closure of a different sort. I cried a lot when I did it, but now that its done, it doesn't feel too bad. Barry, I hope you know how much I loved you and how hard that was, but I know you are proud of me. I feel you still in my heart, all day every day. You may be gone, but the love stays. The love......stays.