Arming for the next battle

More bad news. Again. We had a pretty definite feeling that this next scan was not going to be good because Barry had been feeling so crummy. But I didn't expect it to be this bad. The cancer is simply flying thru his body. Its in his stomach now and his bowels and his colon aside from just plain growing bigger and bigger and bigger everywhere else. We are going to see the oncologist today because I found another lump near his ribcage and the doctor is concerned that its metasisizing to the bone. THAT would be horrible. I actually slept fairly decent last night but woke up at 5 and the tears began to fall. So I decided to get up and do my bible study and answer e-mails and update this blog. The nurse co-ordinator at Kaiser is finding out what the criteria is for Barry to start another clinical trial at UCSF on the PLX4032. My hopes are very much hinged on this new drug. This is the one that is targeted for his specific gene. If this one doesn't help, we still have more options, but they are running out fast. The bottom line is, this diagnosis is pretty much a death sentence.....its just a question of when. And with every fiber of my being, I am praying that it doesn't come soon. That this anniversary will not be our last. That he will be around to see the grandkids soccer games and band recitals and spelling bees. That he will be well enough to enjoy the holidays later this year. That I can roll over in bed and hold his hand for years to come. That we can laugh at the same corny jokes. That I can hear him singing (very badly) all those silly songs we sing together. The list goes on and on. I ask you to pray with me, my friends. I'm awaiting the day that I can post some good news. Its long past due. And so, we gear up for this next battle, putting on the armor of God, head held high , grabbing a sword and shield and putting our trust in God that He has got this whole situation in hand. Yes, we are weary, but we are ready. Bring it on.