The Worst

The worst news ever....stage IV. Its basically everywhere. After waiting anxiously alllll day to hear about the PET scan, my husband finally called at 3:30 on Tuesday the 27th and all I heard was his quavering voice saying, "its not good news". It had spread to his chest, his lungs, his spine and was back in his lymph nodes. I was at work and immediately started crying, hung up the phone and wanted to scream so badly! I kicked the counter and fell into a heap saying, " No no NOOOO!!" My poor boss. I finally composed myself long enough to go tell my boss who looked like a deer in the headlights and he told me to go home. I had to go sit in my car for a bit to compose myself enough to go home. I called my mom, my sis and some friends and drove home to hug my husband. His parents were there looking stricken. The pastor came over. My mom and stepdad came over. Some friends came over. We all prayed. This has spread so quickly, so aggresively if this is not treated he will be gone by the end of the year if not sooner. But! There is a ray of hope....and I cannot tell you how desperately I am clinging to that hope. There is a clinical trial of a drug, specifically for the B-RAF gene that, amazingly enough, Barry has. We asked Kaiser to do genetic testing on Barry and our doc said he would look into it, and never said anything else about it. Apparently, he had him tested for it. Well thank God he did. So now we have to find a clinical trial somewhere in the country and FAST for him to get on this drug. There is a chance he could get on a trial in San Francisco which would be amazing....we think it starts in May. We are hoping and praying that this would be a miracle that would turn this around. I seriously, cannot imagine...absolutely CANNOT imagine my life without this wonderful man. We have many people who are praying frantically . I'm praying right here in this blog....Dear Lord and Saviour....this husband of mine, this wonderful man whom I love with all my heart is going to leave me soon if not for a miracle. I humbly ask for your intervention in this, my Lord....to find him a clinical trial, that he be given this medication and for this medication in conjuction with YOU, dear Father, to be a miracle healing for him. Please, God. You don't want him yet. Please let him live here on earth for awhile longer with me....a long while if it be Your will. I beeseech you, and implore you and boldly ask for a miracle.
In Jesus name,
Amen